Stand up comedy from Max Goldberg.
Max Goldberg is a sad story. Once a polite and eager-looking boy from Los Angeles, Max had the world at his fingertips. Like so many hopeful showbiz harlequins, his end came quickly and tragically at the tender age of 15, when his debilitating addiction began. The boy fell prey to that most vile of practices, known world-over as the cruelest destroyer of good lives - stand-up comedy.
His dependence brought him to unfathomable lows; as a misguided 17-year old, he became a finalist in the Las Vegas Comedy Festival and was given the title "Best Teen Comic in LA," and was frequently seen abusing himself on Los Angeles' unseemly stages at such prurient speakeasy's as The Laugh Factory, the Comedy Union, and the Friars Club.
By 18, his world truly turned grim. Having matriculated at Emerson College in brick-loving Boston, his downward spiral continued as he became a regular at The Comedy Studio in Harvard Square and was nominated for an EVVY award in comedy. In 2006, he was showcased in the Boston Comedy Festival and dubbed, "So hot right now," by Collegehumor.com.
Max's infelicitous and now deplorable, really existence is to be carved forever into the woeful stone of liberal arts academia this May, when he will be graduating Emerson with dual degrees in Theater and Dramatic Writing, as well as a ruinous minor in Entrepreneurship.
I beg of you, kind reader, take note of this dire and cautionary tale. Do not fruitlessly pity the boy; only God can help him now.